


Un Grand Amour

by thecreativewritingstudent



Category: Carol (2015), The Price of Salt - Patricia Highsmith
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Based on Patricia Highsmith's novel, F/F, Fluff, French Carol, Greece in the 30s, Hope it's good, Smut, Wealth, not sure about the ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2018-12-04 19:43:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 11,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11562027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecreativewritingstudent/pseuds/thecreativewritingstudent
Summary: My alternative take on Carol and Therese, their story is beautiful so I had to write something...





	1. Au Début

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my native language so please be gentle and please tell me if you find mistakes so that I fix them:)

Carol, dressed beautifully in white, finally reached the harbor of Skopelos with her husband. As the boat, which now carried her name, approached the land she noticed a church with the corner of her eye, _as white as the Greek sun,_  she thought. Harge saw her staring at the beautiful temple. ''It's called the Virgin Mary of the Rock. It's called like that because of that huge rock she was built on. Do you see it? Well, that's where we are going to have our second wedding. We are going to take my mother and my sister from the house and we'll begin our new lives!'' he said full of his wonderful boyish enthusiasm. ''I didn't know you have a sister.'' ''Well, sugar, there are many things we don't know about each other but we'll manage. But to answer you question, I do have a sister; well, she is not really my sister. Her father was Czech, and one of the sailors working for our family. One day, one of our ships sank. On that ship were our fathers. She's been living with us ever since. I consider her my sister and one of the things I think of before getting into this boat. I always returned back to her, and to my mother. Now I will be coming back to you too ''. She smiled at the thought. After having so many sexual adventures in the past, she finally felt as she belonged somewhere. And she loved Harge. She didn't love him passionately but she couldn't think of having someone else filling her, pleasuring her and caressing her. She finally found someone to spare her from her lust for every person in Rouen. 

He, of course, knew she was no saint. He knew about her short affairs. She told him everything when they had sex at his cabin, on his twin bed. She told him about her first time and about the paper money she earned by getting deflowered by a tramp.

When they stepped on the port, she got a close look at the island before her. When she studied the Philosophers she could never think of Greece as she was seeing her now. She was beautiful and sun kissed. Her houses were white and clean; her people tired and storm-tossed. Her sky was calm. Yes, Greece was unmistakably female. She could almost taste her; musky and, also, sweet in her mouth. She could smell her. 

Harge took back his horse from an elder man called Nikos. He was in charge of the family's stable. When he got on the animal's back he told Nikos to bring Carol his sister's horse in order to arrive home more comfortably than they would have if they rode Harge's together.

The ride home was not as long as Carol had expected. Even if they were now on a more wealthy part of the island, the "High Society" of Skopelos, as they were often called and as they mostly liked to be called, they were still interacting with the poor. She found it fascinating. In Rouen the rich only cared about their own affairs; and that was it. 

She saw a suited man helping a farmer who had just fell of his donkey. He helped him up and the farmer gave the man an apple with his dirty and tired hands. The man kissed the farmer's hands and immediately brought the apple to his mouth and tasted it. In that moment Carol found the one thing absent from her life. Respect. 

The mansion was beautiful. The walls were white as milk and the windows made of wood and painted brown. The roof was new. It was so...Greek. The garden was full of trees, all sorts of trees, and there were flowers everywhere. Near one of the Oaks was a pool with light blue, almost white, mosaics. "I don't really like that fake blue that is often used in the pools. It's like imitating the sea". She agreed. This colour was more elegant; she liked it. She liked it very much. She wanted to jump in, stark naked, and then let the sun lick her body. She wasn't so interested in going to get married again, she realised; but she couldn't tell that to Harge.

"Come and meet maman!"

"Mamά!" Shouted Harge and from the house appeared a smart-looking old lady. Her hair were white and she was clothed in black.

"Mum, I brought you a beautiful woman from the countries of North". Said her husband and his mother said something in Greek she couldn't catch, although she was very fluent in Ancient Greek. The mother got near Carol and with a warm but probably fake smile she said "Καλώς Όρισες, παιδί μου!" Carol understood that. She told her "welcome my Child". Carol liked it. Both of her parents were now long dead and she loved the fact that she was now able to have a family. 

"Honey, were is your sister?" He began speaking in Greek with his mother before answering Carol. "The little one is in Athens. She's at school. She'll be here probably the day after tomorrow, when I'll be going to Syros to pick up some tools for the workers". He said as he disappeared with his mother leaving Carol alone.


	2. La Vie de Carol

When she was nineteen, she found out the truth about the mysterious visits of all these well-dressed men at their house. She heard her mother giggle and then moan. She knew. Of course, she knew. She knew everything. Ever since her father died, her mother has been going out more, has been having people in the house more often than she did before. She did not care that people talked. She was a whore. Well, a wealth whore, who slept with men, and sometimes women, for money. And she was quite an ''expensive'' prostitute, Carol found out shortly after her mother's death. 

When Carol heard all these sounds her mother was making, she grabbed her raincoat and went out to the city. By the river, stood a man, a filthy tramp, with sweat over his dirty face. ''Hey Honey! Want my money?'' he said as she passed in front of him. He followed her. ''Hey, sugar! Look! I got cash! I can pay you well! Oh, come on bitch!''he continued, not unkindly. She turned and looked at him. They went behind some buildings and he laid down his coat. He told her to lay down and she did not say no. She took off her panties and opened her legs for him. She was as dry as the sand of some desert in Asia. He quickly buried himself in her and she let out a pained moan. He stilled. ''You are not a virgin, are you?'' ''No! Of course not!''she said and he continued his painful moves.  

She returned home with some paper money. It wasn't much but it would keep a poor family of four fed for about a week. She saw her mother resting alone on the leather couch in the living room. "Where have you been?'' her mother asked with her voice full of concern. ''I went out maman.  I went out to earn money! Just like you do! Look!" she waved the bill in triumph. "Oh mon Dieu! what have you done? Stupid girl! you deserve so much more!" she now had tears running down her cheeks. "Oh, you know that that's bullshit!" "Watch your tongue, young lady!" "Oh, you have no right to tell me that! I know very well how you watch yours. With all those cocks in your mouth! You're a disgrace, a mistake of nature and I hate you!'' Her mother remained silent. She knew that Carol was right. "I loved your father. But I never saw him! He was always in his uniform. Always had his mind stuck in his job in Africa! He never cared about me! Or you!" "Oh, he loved me! he loved me more than his life! And don't you ever think that he didn't know about your scandalous affairs! That's why he always sat in his armchair, always unhappy!" 

 

Her mother insisted she saw the family doctor, a psychiatrist. She did. ''C'est dégoutant! C'est terriblement dégoutant! Ma...mère derrière ...le mur! Mon Dieu pitié! Pitié mon Dieu!"

 _It's_ disgusting _! It's terribly_ disgusting _! My...mother behind...the wall! My God, show me some mercy! Some mercy, my Lord!_

 

After about a month, her mother died of heart attack. She left Carol a huge fortune. As her death wish, she demanded Carol to keep all of the money she earned by selling her body. She would never have to work a day in her life. 

She was quite adventurous before meeting Harge. She had all sorts of affairs. While at University, she met Paul; a young and attractive history teacher. She was fucking with him till the end of her first year. She then met Camille. He was wealthy, handsome, sexy and well-educated. He asked her to marry her so she disappeared. She had some one-night stands trying to find pleasure from having sex with a man. She wasn't able to enjoy the company of women either. The thought of her mother's prostitution haunted her. She was lost. She began to mourn, and visit church... pray to a God she didn't believe that existed. She began wearing black, going out less. She was desperate to feel something she couldn't quite define. She stopped opening her windows to let the fresh air clean the room. Her soul was as dark as when she found out that her father had died of typhoid at age forty-two, in Africa. They didn't even bring his body back home. Her mother was always indifferent, at least that what Carol thought. She was taken care of by her governess, a charming woman who eventually got pregnant by an English broke doctor who came to Rouen to visit his nephew. She, too, left her.

She wasn't regretting her choices. She was sure that everything runs its course. Everything comes full-circle. She would soon understand that again.

 


	3. Τερέζ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Chapter's Title is Therese's Name in Greek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my native language so please be gentle and please tell me if you find mistakes so that I fix them:)

Harge's sister never came as Carol expected she would. She did not know why, and Harge did not give any explanations or clues. After returning from Syros, he took Chimera, his favourite ship he now called Carol and returned to France. The Blonde was over the moon. She was in Greece, learning Greek and she was living as one. She was now eight months pregnant. It was summer. The water in the Aegean was quite warm, the breeze was hot and her skin was even more freckled than before because of the sun that had kissed her silhouette. Harge's sister, the Little-One as she was often called, was sending goods and letters to the house and to Harge's mother every month. As she was writing in one of her letters, she was really looking forward to meeting Carol and her niece, of course. 

When the Little-one returned, Carol was gone to a trip to Italy with Harge. Rindy, their daughter was now one and a half years old. When they came back to Skopelos, her sister-in-law was having her Master degree in Sorbonne. They didn't meet. The spoke only through letters. Well, they did not speak.. not quite. She was only sending letters to her mother who was giving her Carol's and Rindy's news.

On December 19th, after about three years, she returned. She opened the door with her keys and immediately saw her mother asleep on her beloved armchair with a five-year-old blonde girl in her lap. She was beaming with joy. This must be Rindy, she thought. She moved closer to take a better look of her niece's little happy face. God, she thought, she looks nothing like Harge, Oh, no, she has his nose. And his ears. She stroked her blonde head and then her mother's. ''Mum..mum..Mamά! Wake up, it's me, Terry" Her mother opened her eyes slowly and saw her beautiful green eyed daughter. "My love! Welcome!'' she said as she got up from her armchair carefully, afraid to not to wake Rindy up. She laid her on the green sofa near her and turned to Terry. "So, what's new? Tell me everything... This must be Rindy! Where's Harge's wife?" "Oh, you mean Carol? She's in Town. She went to buy a Christmas present for Rindy". "Why do I think that you don't like her?'' asked Terry curiously. "Because I don't. She's so... well-educated, too liberated. Full of ideas and beliefs. She speaks Greek fluently, we can talk but we don't keep each other company. She's always with this Abby. I mean she is a good mother, but I wanted Harge to have a traditional wife. To be at his service. Not an equal with him. And God, she is always listening to music, she always dances around with Rindy!'' Terry was looking at her mother dumbly. She was well-educated as well, she was civic-minded. She said nothing. After a while, she finally asked ''Do you know where she is?'' 

When Terry arrived at the shops in town she got in a grey-painted one, the only colored building in Town. There was a tall blonde in a mink coat speaking with the owner. She must definitely be a foreigner, mink coats were very rare, especially in a post-war Greece. She greeted Chara, the owner that was speaking with the woman, and began looking around. Eventually, the woman had purchased what she needed and headed to the door. 

And then it happened.

 _Calm grey eyes_.

_Red, beautiful lips._

Their eyes met from a second before the blonde stepped out in the cold air. Terry was still looking at her. Then, the woman turned and looked at her too; she left. Terry began looking around her nervously and saw that the blonde had forgotten her leather gloves. She grabbed them and went in search for their owner. As she stepped out, she felt her nostrils fill up with an exotic smell. It smelled like..green silk and flowers. It was quite musky but also very feminine. Very...special. She instinctively followed the scent that actually led her to the woman from the shop. She was looking at some flowers at Stella's shop, a cosy and comfortable and _warm_ florist's with beautiful lilies on the display. The blonde quickly entered Stella's and came out with the lilies in hand. Terry almost ran near her, as she was standing far from the woman when the smell showed her to Terry, like she was seeing her for the first time, pure and _warm_ and, gentle and elegant.

"Miss" shouted Terry and the woman turned to her. "Excuse me?'' asked the woman, half in awe half in terror. "You forgot your gloves. On the counter at Chara's shop" 

"Oh, yes"answered the blonde tensely and quickly. "I am afraid I did. I am so glad you found them! My husband gave them to me as a present for our first anniversary. You are an angel, my dear". Terry blushed "It's really nothing". The blonde stared a little before inviting Terry to lunch, saying it was the least she could do. 

 

They sat at a five-star restaurant. 

"I'll have the cream spinach over poached eggs and a dry martini with an olive" the woman ordered. Terry hadn't even noticed that a menu was laid down in front of her and that there was a waiter waiting for her order. ''I'll have the same" 

"The meal or the drink?''

"All of it" she said and watched the waiter leave. The woman offered Terry a cigarette, which she eagerly accepted. She placed it between her lips and the blonde in front of her leaned in to light it. _Grey Colourless Fire_...

"So what's your name''

"Belivet"

"And what kind of name is Belivet?''

"It's Czech. It changed, originally it wa-"

"It's very original"

"And your first name?"

"Therese"

" _Τερέζ_ , not Theresa?''

"No"

"Therese Belivet... It's lovely"

"And yours?"

"Carol"

 

_Carol, Carol, Carol_

 She would never be Terry anymore. She was Therese...


	4. Κάρολ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Chapter's Title is Carol's Name in Greek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my native language so please be gentle and please tell me if you find mistakes so that I fix them:)

_Carol, Carol, Carol..._

_Carol... Wait! What?_ Carol?

"Harge is your husband?''she said nervously. This cannot be happening, she thought. There was something magnificent about her. She felt her chest ache the moment their eyes met. It almost felt like... love, well at least the kind of love that was described in the novels she read during the summer. She felt _storm-struck,_ like her whole body had died and was brought back by Carol's glance. Her beautiful hair hugged her face gorgeously, her red lips looked delicious and her hands pure magic. She was freckled and it looked good on her. It matched with her eyes. Her glorious _grey-blue eyes_.

"Mhhm. Well technically. We're divorcing" she said amused, watching Therese's expression. She could quite read it but it seemed funny. The girl looked lost, scared, anxious. Her green eyes were full of concern? No, it was something else. She couldn't define it. They remained silent.

"You know my husband?''

"I do, he's my brother". Now it was Carol's turn to look surprised. She was sort of angry. She had not seen Harge in three years, and now, she got a sense of isolation. She felt sympathy and empathy for her self. She abruptly felt grounded. Her legs were now stilled and her eyes glowed like she was stoned. She was miserable. She felt chicaned by Harge. He should have told her that his sister was a beauty with emerald eyes and luscious pink lips. Now, Carol and Harge were the are the antithesis to each other. He was sleeping around and She had a short-lived relationship with her best friend, Abby. Harge was completely apathetic about almost everything but when he learned about Carol's affair he threatened her with a divorce and a full custody of Rindy. It wouldn't be hard for him to have their daughter. Adultery was illegal. And same-sex-relationships were immoral. Harge would have her daughter's custody. She was sure. So she broke up with Abby and went on living and now that Carol was fully aware of her sexual preferences and desires, came Therese, a charming little creature. Now that they were divorcing without having in mind Carol's affair, she met Therese. It would be easy to be with her, sexually and emotionally but she was Harge's sister. And she was probably straight. She has the looks of an angel, the blonde thought. 

She said nothing about it. She remained silent. She watched her smoke. The waiter came again, this time holding their drinks. "And two dry Martinis"

"Cheers" "Cheers". Carol moved her hand and massaged her long neck. Therese was sure she would fade. That smell. That smell that was of the heavens. The green silk and the flowers. She wanted to hide in Carol's neck or between her breasts. She wanted to kiss her, fully on the lips. She was certain that her lips were softer than Richard's, that her tongue was warm and gentle and wet. 

"And you live alone? Therese Belivet?" Carol said.

"I do, well, there's Richard. He'd like to live with me". She said but continued when she saw Carol smirking playfully at her "No, it's nothing like that! I mean he'd like to marry me".

"I see. And would you like to marry him?"

"Well, I...I barely know what to order for lunch." And with that Carol nodded, almost looking past Therese - what was she thinking about? Suddenly it seemed to the girl that Carol's mood had somehow darkened. Then, the waiter appeared with their food and he set their plates down. Carol picked up her silverware, the cloud seemingly past.

"I’m starved. Bon appetit!" she said with a smile. Therese watched her a little. She sort of felt forced to pick up her fork and eat a little. But she did. And then, Carol saw her. Really saw her. She saw her fears, her desires, her preferances; and she said, "What a strange girl you are.."

"Why?"

"Flung out of Space..."she said gently..


	5. The End of a Beginning

And with that, she was gone. ''See you at home, angel!" said Carol and went to meet Abby. Her car was parked near the sandy beach in the Town. Abby's house was not that far. She got in and headed east, passed a monastery and entered the gates of a neighborhood named Pigi. She drove through the woods until she saw a grand green house that matched the colour of the trees. It was very plain, yet it was elegant. The window frames and the door were blueish and the garden was full of red and white roses. She parked near the house and walked to the door. She knocked it and waited for her friend to show up. Abby opened it. She was not expecting her. She was wearing a plain silk robe with little turquoise flowers on it. "Carol, is everything okay? Is Rindy alright?" said the brunette with her voice full of concern. "No, Abby, everything is fine, won't you let me in?"

The living room was beautifully decorated. There was a big leather couch in the middle of the room, some ochre-colored armchairs and a massive piano. Famous paintings were hung on the walls, not the original ones of course. Carol was now standing in front of the only bookcase in the house, that actually covered a whole wall. Her eyes fell on Mrs. Dalloway, the novel by Virginia Woolf. _Abby was standing right behind her._ She quickly turned and kissed her fully on the lips. Carol brought her hands in Abby's hair and she felt the brunette kiss her as roughly as she could. She threw the blonde's mink coat on the floor and untied her robe letting it fall open, revealing her nakedness to Carol. The blonde grabbed Abby's nipple, bent down to lick it before bringing her tongue to Abby's centre. She placed her palms on her friend's tits and sucked her dripping clit. 

 

She was now naked on Abby's double bed. She was smoking one of her cigarettes. Abby was next to her, but she was not looking at her. "You want to tell me about her?" asked Abby, a little hurt. "What?" she pretended not to know what she was talking about. It's for the best, she thought. "Carol, you called her name while we were having sex! It's been ten months since we broke up... and you came in here, fucked me and now you are trying to convince me that you haven't met anyone? Don't be a stupe!" Carol winced and felt a wave of cold sweat run on her body like chills. "Well, her name is Therese..." the brunette nodded since she had just been called that by Carol "and she is Harge's sister." she continued. Abby suddenly stood up, leaving the bed in a swift motion that made her boobs bounce.   

"What? Harge's sister?"

"Well, she is not really Harge's sister. Her dad was Czech, her mother...well, I know nothing about her... and..." 

"You've got to be kidding me!"

"I am not. Don't get angry, you nitwit" said Carol quite playfully, trying to lighten the mood. "It's not that I am in love with her, I only met the today; it's just that... I feel funny. I want to... connect with her, to know her. She's very beautiful and smart and kind. She was nervous while we were talking. I really like her."

"Just tell me you know what you're doing"

"I don't. I never did" said Carol with a smile.

 

* * *

 

Therese slammed her car door a little harder than she meant to.

Was she... sad? 

The day started out like she wanted it to start. She visited her mother, she met Rindy and then _Carol_ and then, she visited Richard, who once again wanted to move their relationship to a less platonic level. While at Paris, she had decided that she wanted to move a little forward with her fiancee. She thought that by getting more intimate with him, she would love him more, or she would actually get to love him because the only thing she wasn't feeling was love. So when he opened his apartment's door, she stepped in and kissed him fiercely. He wasn't used to a passionate _Terry. She was always shy and unsure of herself. Sometimes a prude, and a child._ She led him to his dusty couch, let him sit, unzipped his pants letting his cock slip out of his boxers, and kissed him again. She was feeling very confident. ''Let me touch you" he said desperately. She wasn't ready for that. _She would never be ready..._ "Let me" she said as she lowered her head, taking him in her mouth. Richard was about to ask her if she was sure but when he felt her warm tongue around him he remained silent. Therese was feeling disgusted as she had his dick in her mouth. She felt sick. And then, something strange happened.

 _Carol.._ She saw her, she saw her twist her bed sheets with her hands, her nipples hard. she saw her face flushed and pink, her eyes glowing, her mouth half open, her hair spread out on her white pillow and she felt happy. She began taking Richard deeper in her mouth and she heard Carol's moans. She heard her breaths and her slippery folds. She listened to sounds that were foreign to her. She was over the moon! She felt ecstatic and did not hear Richard telling her that he was cumming. He let his filthy sperm fill her mouth and Therese started crying, realizing she was having Richard in her mouth. 

She went to the bathroom, spit his cum, brushed her teeth with his old toothbrush and headed to the door. 

When she was outside his house she saw _Carol_ , in her mink coat, her hair tangled. She saw Therese weeping and began walking towards her. 

"Sugar, I am sorry for cumming in your mouth! Terry, I love-" He saw Carol so he stopped shouting and stood there embarrassed looking at the blonde, but she was only looking at Therese, her expression pained. 

 

Carol turned away from Therese, with tears in her eyes.

 

She left.

Therese got in her car and slammed the door hard, letting her tears fall freely. 


	6. Always

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my native language so please be gentle and please tell me if you find mistakes so that I fix them:)

She let her tears fall, her head resting on the wheel. She felt stupid. There, in front of her had been Carol. She looked flushed and embarrassed, sad. She heard everything Richard said. But why was she so angry? They were just acquaintances. She was married to Therese's brother. That's all, and that's that. 

But something in her blue eyes told her, the moment Richard stopped talking, that they were so much more. They were companions in their sorrow. They were alone, sad, angry, penitent and regretful. I... care deeply for her, thought Therese. She somehow longed for her. She wanted to hug her, to feel her naked form rub against her empty body. She wanted to give Carol pleasure. She didn't care to receive it. Only to make Carol arch into space. 

She drove to the gate of the neighbourhood. And there was Carol, looking like a Sunday morning, standing outside her car, leaning on it, smoking a cigarette. Her mink coat was thrown over her shoulders. Her hair was all over her face. She looked at Therese who now opened her car door and got outside. She thought of going near the blonde but decided against it. 

"Charming isn't he?" said Carol, blowing the cigarette smoke. Therese was terrified. She was trembling violently, feeling the bitterness of Richard's cum in her mouth. She wanted to throw up, to cry, to curse, to scream. Instead, she lowered her eyes. 

"How long have you been together?"

"Not much. We're supposed to get married in June but-"

"But you don't like the taste of his cum?" asked Carol wryly. Therese began crying again, feeling a wave of love and lust and pain overwhelm her. Carol began walking to her, like a predator but stopped abruptly. She wanted to kiss away her _angel's_ tears, to hold her but she could not. They were strangers. They were kindred spirits.

"And you..." said Therese boldly, "you can't lecture me about Richard!" She held out her finger and looked directly at Carol who now stood there with her eyes full of concern. She knew that Therese knew. She felt it deep in her bones. She was a dead woman. She now felt miserable, like the wind was forced out of her lungs. She wanted to explain, to justify herself. To apologise maybe but... something made her wait for Therese to continue her phrase. 

"Don't you dare judge me! Cause you... you" she was now looking at a small worm that was heading to a small hole in the ground, probably its home.

"Darling, I..."

"I can't get you out of my mind! I fee-"

 

* * *

 

 

"I can get you out of my mind" said Abby looking at an elegantly dressed Carol. ''I'll be better without you!" Her house was darker than it used to be and she could not quite see her. She was standing near the bookcase, her eyes stuck on Virginia's Woolf Mrs Dalloway. 

"Oh, Abby, you know how I feel about you!"

"Well, what you feel is not love. It's lust"

"Does it change the way you feel about me?"

"No. I guess it does not" Abby came near the blonde. She brought one hand to her cheek and the other grabbed Carol's arse, bringing them so close, nobody in the whole wide world would be able to figure out where Abby ended and Carol began. The brunette was in love and she wanted to give Carol something to remember her. She knew Carol's sexual preference and she wanted to make sure that Carol would always return to her. She wanted to be "the one and only".

She led Carol to her bedroom, undressed her and before she even had the chance to lay down, the brunette entered her with two fingers. She began thrusting fast and hard, making Carol fall on the mattress. She hovered over her and sucked on her left nipple. She, then, decided she wanted to go down on Carol. The blonde suddenly stopped her and before Abby could react, she climaxed. She got dressed and left. She was waiting for the one. And the one was neither Harge nor Abby.

 

* * *

 

 

"I can't get you out of my mind! I feel like my life was meaningless without you! I' ve been thinking about you all day. I feel I stand in a desert with my hands outstretched and you are raining down upon me! And what I did, I did it because  _I think people often try to find through sex things that are much easier to find in other ways._ And I found these things but I can't have them..." she smiled bitterly before asking, "Do people always fall in love with things they can't have?"

 

'Always,' Carol said, smiling, too, knowing what Therese meant. 

 

 

 

 


	7. That Terrible Thing I Call Home Brought You in My Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my native language so please be gentle and please tell me if you find mistakes so that I fix them:)

The next day, Harge's mother invited Richard at their house. She was sure that there was some kind of misunderstanding or even problem between the two of them. When Therese came home the day before she was very sad and angry. She shut herself in her room and did not come out, well she was forced to come out, eventually, to have breakfast with the family. So she was in her room for at least twelve hours, thought Harge's mother. Carol had told her that she did not meet Therese in town even though the girl went in search of her. So when the morning came, Carol introduced herself again, this time using her maiden name, which of course annoyed Harge's mother. She told Therese about the divorce, about her life in Rouen, well, she didn't tell her everything; not with Maman listening. 

The streets were empty. Frustrated, the girl yanked the car door open and drove to the port. Her mother had asked her to pick up some vegetables after, for today's dinner. Carol would go leave Rindy. Harge was coming to get her and spend some time together abroad and the maid was helping her mother with the food preparation. She learned from her niece that Richard was coming to their house this evening. She suddenly felt like she wanted to punch someone but she couldn't possibly hurt Rindy or Carol that were now in front of her. So after saying goodbye to Rindy there, she got back in her car leaving Carol and her daughter at the port, their car now seeming a spot, as she continued driving.

She bought some lettuce for the salad and some apples for Carol to make her famous apple pie. She left the store and wore her scarf and hat. She saw Carol waiting for her, leaning on Therese's car. "Hi" she said. She was not in the mood for small talk, she was exhausted, even though it was still early to feel that way. It had been only twenty-four hours since she was back from France. "Hello, darling" said Carol kindly and somehow playfully, "would you possibly drive me home? I put my keys in Rindy's bag by accident and I can't get in my car" she continued with a lie. The car keys were in the right pocket of her red coat. "Yes, of course". She did the mistake of walking past Carol to open her door.  _The dusky and faintly sweet smell of her perfume came to Therese again, a smell suggestive of dark green silk, that was hers alone, like the smell of a special flower,_ she smiled as she tried to memorize the top notes of it.   _Vetiver, Oak, Cedar... Remember that Therese._ The ride home was silent but comfortable. They sometimes looked at each over in secret, prolonging their lust and longing. They both felt like they needed to protect each other from the outside world. And they did, there, in the car, they were just Carol and Therese. 

At six o'clock in the afternoon, Richard came to their house. He was holding two bouquets of flowers, one for Therese and one for her mother. He was stupid enough to remember that Carol would be there too, since she was Harge's wife, and Therese's sister-in-law, the girl would think later, after seeing Richard offer the flowers to her and her mother. When she opened the door to him, he suddenly grabbed her arm, leading him outside. 

"Terry, please say that we are ok!"

"Richard, could we please discuss this later? I am not in the mood!"

"But you are never in the mood! You are never in the mood for anything! You are not in the mood for sex, not in the mood for small talk, not in the mood to look at me!" Therese remained quiet for a little, thinking how she would ask Richard what she had in mind.

"How many times have you been in love?''

"Never" he replied awkwardly before continuing, "until you"

"Don't lie! You told me about those two other girls."

"Come on. They were - I had sex with them. That’s not the same thing."

"Meaning... I’m different because we haven’t... gone all the way?"

"No, no - that’s not what I - hey, what’s this all about? I love you. That’s what’s different. Hey, how about coming to my apartment after dinner? We can resume what we were doing yesterday.." By then he was holding her by her arm quite roughly.

"Richard, you are hurting me!"

"What?"

"Is everything alright Therese?" said Carol like he had taken a piece of her heart just to throw it away. They had not noticed her come near them and now they were both looking at her startled.  

"No, Carol, everything is under control" she said, took the blonde by the arm and led her inside, leaving Richard alone.

 

* * *

 

Richard started talking about his adventures in India. He said that he met a girl, there, named Vilma and that he slept with her. After his night with her, he got beaten up by her husband. Then he came back to Skopelos. It was obvious that he was trying to make Therese jealous. But the girl was not paying attention to him. Therese was only looking at Carol seductively and she felt disgusted when Richard moved his hand to cover hers. She violently felt her clit scream. She was becoming very wet. She brought the hand Richard was holding to her mouth trying to stop a moan from escaping it. Her mother asked her if she was okay and Carol looked at her with fake concern.

Carol's foot was gently caressing Therese's under the table.

 

After eating the pie, Richard and her mother went to the kitchen to make coffee and discuss the wedding's details. The blonde and the girl when out, to the garden to smoke. And then Carol finally said to Therese... 

"I’m going away for a while."

"When? Where? "

"Wherever my car will take me. West. Soon." She saw that Therese could not hide her dismay so..."And I thought... perhaps you’d like to come with me... Would you?"

"Yes, yes I would"

 

That night, Therese saw Carol's naked form in her dreams so she touched herself for the first time.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The perfume described in the Chapter is the one that my Carol wears. It's Hermes' Eau de Merveilles. It's breathtaking. My love, I thought of you writing this! I love you and I think of you all the time..


	8. Easy Living

"Would you please turn this thing off?" said Harge's mother, "It's really getting on my nerves! First Carol and now you? Enough of this song!" 

Therese was forced to change the record, putting on some Schubert. She was...happy. It was three days before Christmas and she was very excited about her trip with Carol. They would go to Volos by boat and from there they would eventually arrive at the port of Kilini. Then, they would take the boat again to go to Zaente, 'Il fiore di Levante' as Carol preferred to call the island. Her friend Abby had a house, there, with blue-painted window frames. It was nice and big one, big enough for two and they planned spending Christmas and New Year's there; but they haven't told that to Maman since they were sure she would try to stop them from going. Well it would be leaving Maman alone but she had plenty of friends, all of them rich and snobbish. Together they would have the perfect New Year's. They didn't want to be dragged to Jeanette's house, listening to Cy's jokes about the Turks, having nothing to discuss with the other guests. They didn't want to spend the first night of the year completely drunk and miserable. Going away together would be very pleasant and undeniably fun. 

"Again with this Swan song?"

"Mother, what's the matter? It's just a song! I'm sorry if I don't want to spend the holidays making feta cheese pies!" She could tell her mother was very upset with Therese's words. She certainly wasn't expecting her little girl to talk to her like that. Feeling her mother's discomfort, she put another record and then _Mon Coeur est Léger_ started playing, she thought of Carol and her slightly French accent when they spoke Greek, her delicious perfume and her beautifully freckles, spread all over her face and hands. Therese thought of her as Aphrodite, as a living-statue of some goddess watching them from Mount Olympus.

The door suddenly opened and gray eyes met green. Their mouths turned slightly upwards, forming sweet smirks. Carol winked at the girl before walking to her seductively. They didn't get near enough thought, since the blonde passed in front of her, only wanting to arouse the girl with her smell. She went to her room, in the second floor and closed the door behind her. Therese knew what Carol would be doing. She would take of her clothes and jewellery before stepping into her warm robe. She felt herself climbing the stairs, facing Carol's bedroom door. Before she could think, she opened the door without knocking. 

_Carol was in front of her, completely naked, holding a towel in her hand. She is about to shower. She is completely exposed and nude. Her breasts are round and big, her abdomen flat. She had some blond hair between her legs, not more than a handful. I am dying, though Therese, feeling a wave of pure ecstasy spread into her like blood. Flung out of space..._

Afrer what felt like ages, Carol walked gracefully to the girl bringing their cheeks together. She breathed Therese in, letting out a small yet pained moan, before bringing her fingertips on her angel's lips.

 

She is Harge's sister, she thought and disappeared into the bathroom, leaving her towel on Therese's feet.

 

 

* * *

 

They had chicken with the plums Carol had picked up from the garden the day before. They ate silently, only hearing the silverware making contact with the porcelain plates. 

Therese had never noticed how beautiful the ceiling was. It was white an decorated with burgundy plasterboard. In the middle it was painted blue, to resemble the sea and the sky. It also had a chandelier, with crystals hanging elegantly under the candles. It must be very old considering it has candles and not bulbs, thought the girl. The warm light from it was being reflected on the freshly waxed table. Looking down, she saw Carol's pained expression and she felt the urge to devour the blonde right on this table but she didn't want to put on a show for Maman. 

Carol raised her head confidently, her face now expressionless. "Therese and I decided to go on a trip, Maman. We ar-"

"oh yes? Were to?" She said interrupting Carol. 

"To Zakynthos" answered the girl, clearly supporting the older woman. 

 

When they explained everything to Maman, she got up, muttering something about being not grateful enough and something about Carol's manners and arrogance before disappearing into the library. 

"So have you packed yet?" said Carol friendly. 

"No, not...everything"

"Well that's that!" She brought a leather suitcase as a gift to the girl. 

"I heard that it'll snow. It's going to be a difficult trip if it does!"

"I love the snow" said the woman. Then There's thought about the blonde's vaginal hair. They were as white as the purest snow, she thought before kissing Carol on the cheek to thank her for buying her a suitcase to carry her love in it. Sadly, it wasn't possible to put all of her love there. So she would carry some in her heart as well.

 

 


	9. Blue Carol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The translation of the poem is at the end.  
> You might want to listen to this while reading the Chapter... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ls8-pk4IS4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my native language so please be gentle and please tell me if you find mistakes so that I fix them...

Purple clouds covered the already purple sky and the sun was a deep shade of orange. Some seabirds flew over her head and some nightingales began chirruping. The sea was calm and pinkish.  _Dawn_ , Therese thought. She was as peaceful as the morning breeze. She had already packed her new suitcase and had loaded her car with her things. She had packed some sodas and a few sandwiches with feta cheese, tomato, oregano, olives and olive oil and boiled some eggs. She was now reading a poem by Cavafy

_Καινούριους τόπους δεν θα βρεις, δεν θάβρεις άλλες θάλασσες._  
_Η πόλις θα σε ακολουθεί. Στους δρόμους θα γυρνάς_  
_τους ίδιους. Και στες γειτονιές τες ίδιες θα γερνάς·_  
_και μες στα ίδια σπίτια αυτά θ’ ασπρίζεις._  
_Πάντα στην πόλι αυτή θα φθάνεις. Για τα αλλού — μη ελπίζεις—_  
_δεν έχει πλοίο για σε, δεν έχει οδό._  
_Έτσι που τη ζωή σου ρήμαξες εδώ_  
_στην κώχη τούτη την μικρή, σ’ όλην την γη την χάλασες._

She was trying to get her out of her mind. She knew it was quite late for that since they were spending the holidays together but she had to stop thinking about her. Her blonde hair haunted her, her blue eyes pursued her. She felt like a lost lamb, ready to be slaughtered. She thought of Carol's hands circling her neck, her mouth caressing her nipples and eventually, her nose rub her dark-coloured pubes. She imagined grabbing the blonde by the cheeks to bring their lips together, a sensual dance, like sparkling wine. A colourless fire, a game that two can play.

 "Goodmorning, darling" said Carol as she appeared behind her. Suddenly, the large balcony seemed small, tiny. Therese felt her blood boil an--

"Goodmorning, Carol. Did you sleep well?"

"I did. I had a marvellous sleep! I think I needed it" she replied before continuing, "Did you sleep well?"  _No_ , thought Therese,  _because the walls are really thin and I could hear your moans while you were touching yourself, while you got up to stand by the window and open it to feel the cold wind clinch to your sweaty body. I Could hear your bed squeaking when you laid down agai-_

"It was perfection!"  _Really? Perfection? She must think I am an idiot._ "So, have you packed yet? Do you need help?"

"No, dearest. I have packed everything. My bags are in my car"

"But I thought-- you said that your car keys were in Rindy's bag"

"Well, I lied"

"Why?" Carol remained silent. Therese moved her eyes from the blonde's face and scanned her neck, the creamy valley below it, she took in her silver silk nightgown and then her bare legs with the red-coloured nails. She left Carol there to move her bags to Carol's car. She grabbed the yellow suitcase first and brought it to the garden, where Carol's car was parked. When she turned, there she was, looking at her with sad and watery eyes. 

"I did not want to ride home alone"

"You could have told me that. I don't bite..." _I am not maman..._  Harge's mother was not a bad person though, she was gentle and caregiving. She was a tough woman. She had lost Minas, her other son in the war and she was desperate for love and Therese opened her heart and let her in. She was indeed a good Mamman, but she was not her real mother; she could never be.

Her woman who gave birth to Therese abandoned her a while after her father's death. She was beautiful, slim, with green eyes and dark, almost black, hair. She was elegant yet hot-headed and cold-blooded. She was a talented pianist, her life, and career, ahead of her. So Therese was not making it easy for her. It was obvious that her career was more important. So, she left her only-child, the one thing remaining for the husband she never loved, to pursue her career. 

Therese had a conference while studying in Paris about the impact of Greek and Roman culture in modern europian civilisation, and then she saw her, her mother, holding a ten-year old boy by the hand. Her new husband was apparently a lecturer the University of Sorbonne. Her mother greeted her and tried to show her off but Therese left. Her mother never apologised.

"Dearest, I am sorry, please don't be mad at me."

"But how could I ever be mad at you?"

 

They arrived at Volos without noticing it. They wandered around trying to find a decent hotel, motel or room; a place to spend the night. There was a well-taken-care-of hotel near a beach whose name they did not know. It was fully equipped. Every room had a fireplace, a record player and iceboxes filled with goodies, a treat since it was the holidays.

They took the presidential suit. The two beds were nicely made, the wallpaper was very smart, covered with gardenias and grassy flowers, painted in a relaxing mint green.

"Well isn't that glorious?"

"Would you like to dance with me?" said Therese boldly, now regretting the two martinis she drank at dinner before coming to the hotel.

"Are you sure...Therese?"

"Yes, yes I am sure"

 

They moved slowly in each other's arms. Carol caressed the girl's head that rested on her chest, Therese touched the blonde's back gracefully, as if she was grateful for having her in her arms. They waltzed carefully listening to Sibelius' Valse Triste.

 

"My angel, flung out of space" said Carol after Therese brought their lips together for the first time.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You won’t find a new country, won’t find another shore.  
> This city will always pursue you. You will walk  
> the same streets, grow old in the same neighbourhoods,  
> will turn grey in these same houses.  
> You will always end up in this city. Don’t hope for things elsewhere:  
> there is no ship for you, there is no road.  
> As you’ve wasted your life here, in this small corner,  
> you’ve destroyed it everywhere else in the world.


	10. This, This Is What I Want.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I could not be more Therese in this Chapter....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my native language so be gentle and please tell me if you find mistakes so that I fix them...

"What?" Screamed Therese as she let the telephone's cable to cover her mouth. She felt her head spin and the sour taste of vomit tickling her throat. She had experienced hangovers in the past but nothing like that. She had this sense of unknowingness...she searched deep in her mind to find answers, to find that missing thing but it was buried in the furthest parts of her soul. She felt somehow empty.  

"What?" said Therese again before continuing, "He did what?...So it's my fault?...Tell me, do I look like that kind of girl?...Oh, I was his fallback? A girl to suck him off when he was horny?"

Carol was standing still, in her silver coloured silk robe, in the slightly-opened-door bathroom. She felt more upset than she wanted to, hearing Therese's words, hearing the anguish in the girl's voice, she felt devastated. She wanted to feel empty and sorry, maybe for the younger woman, but all she could make out was sadness, pure as a baby's cry. Pure as love itself. 

"Well, I deserve so much more than him, Dannie! I am smart and well-educated and I have manners...no, no, no, no, no, no! Well, what about you? When did you come back? How's Elise?...and Phill?...okay! Love you!... yes! Okay, bye!" 

It hurt like hell, like someone, Richard, had reached in her heart to take Therese from there, but she could not deny the fact that she felt sort of happy for the girl. She wasn't expecting her to be self-sufficient, and passionate. She thought she was naive and she was positively surprised. Therese had a fire in her and Carol was certain that the girl would blossom into a beautiful person. She was young and had much to learn but she was developing into something wonderful. She was becoming independent, she was becoming _her_. Carol got out of the bathroom, her neatly folded clothes in hand. She was nervous, she looked unconfident and self-conscious. She thought that maybe Therese would like the self-assured-Carol, so she put on the mask she was wearing even before her marriage with Harge, he had _almost_ managed to make Carol feel free, but apparently, his good looks and nationality weren't enough. She now had grown tired of Greece, not because she wasn't fulfilling her but because she never became a part of her. She would always be Harge's beautiful and sexy _French_ wife. She was never considered a Greek, mainly because Maman kept reminding her that she wasn't. She could no longer feel close to the culture. Reading Sophocles and Euripides' Medea did not help. She started reading the French again, she became Madam Bovary, she felt whatever Baudelaire felt. She started dressing in a more skimpily. She wanted to feel French again. 

"Are you alright?"

"I suppose so," said Therese before continuing, "He was seen with another girl. They were kissing"

"I see. Are you jealous?"

"I don't know. I just feel used I guess. I mean, we were..we are engaged for the love of God!"

"You want him, you crave for him right?"

"What? No, I.."

"You want him." Carol got close to her. "You want him to kiss you like you kissed me last night when you were drunk. You don't remember, right?" 

_I want to kiss her, to bring my lips on her creamy neck, to bury my hands in her hair. I want to make her blush and moan my name. I want to claim and devour her. To mark her and make her mine. To caress her breasts and smell her cunt. I want--_

"No, what? I--"

_I want to love her. To take care of her. To build a life with her and grow old with her. I want to spend afternoons with her, drink wine and read together. I want to sleep and wake up with her. To take trips with her. To write about her._

"You love him like you love the morning sun burning your skin. You crave him like you crave the first autumn rain. You like the feeling of his hands in your hair, the touch of his tongue on your neck, the look in his eyes when he speaks to you. You love the way he kisses you, soft and sweet, the smell of his body and sweat. You love his words; sometimes confident and witty, sometimes shy and slow. You!", she said now touching Therese's cheek softly before bringing her hand in her hair, massaging the scalp gently.

"You want _him_! Not me!" And then Therese saw herself dancing in Carol's arms, her head on the blonde's chest, both of them clinging to each other, then she felt blonde's lips on hers. And some words after that first kiss, the first unspoken promise that was sealed between the two women before the passionate night and morning that never came.

"No! This, this is what I want!" and with that Therese brought their lips together again, like it was the first time. And she finally placed a hand on that pretty and slim waist and cupped the back of Carol's head with the other one, brushing the sweet blonde locks tenderly. Now Carol kissed her harder, her hands on the girl's cheeks, neck and back.

"I want this." She said after a moment, when she broke the kiss, her voice rich and velvety. "I want you"

 

And she did. And it was a symphony of words and love.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am writing this trying to fight my writer's block. I hope you liked it!


	11. It's love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my native language so please be gentle and please tell me if you find mistakes so that I fix them:)

They never actually made it to Zante. They spent some time in the mint-coloured room and that was it. Abby called some nights after Christmas day, telling them that Harge returned, which of course they did not expect. He had meetings with his lawyer, Abby said, and he was battling for complete custody of the little girl. He got convinced by his mother to move Carol's stuff out of the house. He was gentleman enough to send them to this little boutique hotel in the town. Carol started behaving strangely. She was always with a cigarette and a drink in hand, most of the times a gin martini, maybe some fruit liqueur when she was feeling Frencher than she wanted to, and rarely some tsipouro since it reminded her of Skopelos way too much. 

They were fighting constantly, which was unusual since Therese was too quiet and peaceful to argue and Carol did not seem to care about anything. She was always yelling at Therese and then apologising to her by making love to the younger woman, but she was distant; as if her body was there but her mind, and heart, were lost in some dark and hollow abyss. Her insides were screaming. She was not letting Therese love her, she was shutting her out, leaving her body aching with lust. She was punishing herself like that somehow but what she could not understand was that she was hurting her young lover this way as well.

She got the chance to observe the room. There was a portrait of George II of Greece with his wife Elisabeth of Romania, two heavy armchairs, some Greek Orthodox images hung on the walls next to the dressing table. She inspected Therese's toiletries and cosmetics. She smelled a perfume by Guerlain which was not the one Therese was wearing. She opened the girl's suitcase to find clothes and some lingerie in shades of beige and she had to fish a bit to find something colourful, which turned out to be a scarf, probably from Hermes, surely a gift by Harge since the girl was not interested in wearing overly-priced clothing, at least at that moment, considering the fact that Therese was trying to become independent, both economically and emotionally.

She decided to leave, now that Therese was at the library, three blocks from the hotel they stayed in. Going back to Skopelos and then France seemed like the right thing to do. Therese had finished her studies so she would not return to Sorbonne. She would probably marry Richard or Dannie's brother, Phil since he was a wealthy and well-educated Bachelor. Life would be easy for Therese. Carol, of course, knew that being Therese's first lover was a big mistake. In Skopelos, and generally in Greece and world-widely actually, being a virgin was necessary if a girl wanted to get married. She acted stupidly. She ruined Therese's future by taking her virginity. But she could not take that back, right?

She left a note on the table where the radio was on, grabbed her bag and left.

 

* * *

 

 

"This is what I want," said Therese. _Bliss, a string orchestra chanting for her._ They kissed deeply and softly as if they were made of paper. The dim light of the lamp near them was curing their wounds, their suffering from longing each other. Their hands were everywhere and their souls were nearing. They felt this profound connection with everything. It was almost like giving birth for Carol, agonising slow, painful, but in the end, she knew that she would be rewarded with life's most breathtaking gift; love. For Therese, it was worse. She wanted to hurry as if Carol would disappear or turn into dust. She imagined herself climbing Mount Olympus, washing the dishes in Richard's house and changing the filthy diaper of Dannie's son. She thought of a wet towel under the kitchen table as Carol began taking off her cardigan, she thought of a ridiculous play she saw at a theatre in Athens as she kissed the freckles down the sides of Carol's ears. 

But once Therese was out of dull things to think in order to slow down, she realised that Carol was standing in front of her, looking like morning breeze, just in her bra and panties, her mind froze. Her senses were overwhelmed with the blonde woman. She had a mole, above her right breast, a few blonde hair on the lower part of her tummy, just where her womanhood met the rest of her body. She wanted to devour her, so, she slowly brought their hands together and led Carol to the bed. They sat next to each other to take in their beauty. She wanted to do so many things but she did not know what to do. She knew women did that; make love to one another, she had read it in the encyclopedia, but she knew nothing, so she stayed there, studying Carol.  

"Have you done this before?"

"What sex? No," said Therese embarrassed. 

"Therese, then we can stop, I mean, first times are important, but first time making love should be special, and planned maybe. Lived with someone you love."

"That's why I want you, to, make, love, to, me" She suddenly felt bolder somehow and brought her hands behind Carol's back and unclasped her bra. She then moved her hands to her back and removed hers as well. She carefully lowered her head on the blonde's chest and circled one pinkish nipple with the tip of her tongue, bringing it to life. When she heard Carol moan, she brought her mouth to the other nipple, this time sucking, waiting to hear what effect that had on her lover. Carol then climbed onto the bed, told Therese to lay down and then straddled her. She stroked her face, her hair as the girl closed her eyes at the feeling, beginning to tremble involuntarily. 

"You’re trembling." She leaned down to kiss her lightly on the forehead, before reaching across the bed to shut off the light. 

"Don’t. I want to see you"

"I want to see you always," said Carol before kissing her passionately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be the smutty one. I have never written one so be patient. I have no idea when it will be posted!


	12. Blood Red Cigarette Butt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I not a native English speaker, pay no attention to my mistakes. If ye find something, let me know so that I can fix it.
> 
> God, it’s been so long! It’s good to be back!

It was easy to love her; she was a good lover. She paid close attention to all of the things she did to her. She was a fast learner. A good girl. 

Carol was very careful. She made sure to make the girl as wet as possible. The last thing she wanted was to make Therese uncomfortable. She knew that first times were important. 

“This is what I want” the words still echoed in her ear. The girl’s eyes were filled with longing. She was so screwed. Love wasn’t something she was looking for, yet it entered her life without warning. She was doomed.

Carol moved her hands gently over the girl’s torso. She smiled down at her. She was so pretty, so innocent, so full of life. Carol wanted to be a part of that list for life. She wanted to feel young again. Wanted to feel loved. 

Therese couldn’t even move. She could actually feel her blood boiling, the flow of it increase in her vagina walls. She was getting wetter and wetter. She had absolutely no control over her arousal. Her skin was becoming flushed as the time was passing. Her nipples were erect and hard as a rock. She was in pain, in agony. She could relieve the ache between her legs by trying to find, but that some pleasure pressing her legs together didn’t work at all. She was desperate. Carol had awakened her; she was finally alive. She wanted to be devoured but also to devour the other woman. As her lover lapped that little spot on her neck, that spot she used to touch and caress herself as she was masturbating, she gasped. _How does she know that? How does she know that spot? How does know what to do?_

Therese finally opened her eyes, lifted her head to and look straight at the blonde. “You’re our of heavens,” she said, looking like a little girl, still immature and young. “And you’re my angel, flung out of space”. Therese was ecstatic. She felt, right then that she was born just to live this moment, to be loved by Carol. “Please, please dear. Take me, let time freeze, let go. Love me tonight”. The Girl pulled the Woman’s hips to hers, bringing their lips together slowly. Carol not wanting to enter Therese right then, stopped just a bit to look in the brunette’s green bright eyes before moving downwards to the girl’s chest and belly. Carol’s tongue licked her lips first before moving to taste Therese’s sweat that was resting there.

She was going to take it slow, she really wanted to but the movements and the little sounds coming out of the girl’s mouth didn’t make it easy for her. Carol wanted to grab all of Therese. She wanted to claim her. To possess her but she had to wait. She knew by experience that a girl’s time is quite special. She wanted it to be this way for Therese as well. And since the girl really wanted her first time to be with Carol, she was going to give the best she had to make Therese as comfortable as she could. 

She flirted with the idea of licking Therese’s slit. And when she saw the little, wet spot on Therese’s panties she smiled. “Someone’s ready”, she said playfully but the serious look on the girl’s eyes made her instantly regret her cockiness. “I’ve been ready for so long, don’t you know it?”, said the girl. Her eyes were still serious and full of lust and longing. Then it was when Carol understood that that was the look of someone craving sex. She was going to give that to Therese.

She removed the girl’s underwear.

Her hands reached for her folds and she parted them slowly before moving to breathe on the pinkish clit, which had emerged from her hood. She teased a bit, blowing on the sensitive spot, listening to the girl's sounds and moans like it was the most wonderful piece of opera she has ever listened to. When she was satisfied with the girl's frustration, she bent and licked Therese from slit to clit and stopped when she heard the lustful noise coming from the brunette's mouth.

 "You drive me crazy Therese, are you aware," she said, her voice sending pleasurable vibrations directly to her clit. The girl just moaned something in Greek, something Carol did not understand, and truth to be told didn't want to understand, her mind was full of French sensual scents, poems by Baudelaire and images from the Seine, but she found the words that Therese mumbled very arousing, the harmony of the language and the musicality of it sending electric shocks down to her sex. 

She went faster and harder, making Therese come undone. When her breathing relaxed, Carol penetrated her with one finger, observing how the girl responded to her movements. She heard some moaning and was soon encouraged by it. The brunette was wet enough to take another finger as well. Carol removed her middle finger, stroked the girl's clit a little to lube her index and brought it to her mouth. "You taste divine, darling," she said as she licked her whole finger, as she cleaned it from the girl's juices. She waited for Therese to respond but she only found her in ecstasy, rubbing her tits, bitting her fists to keep the sounds of pleasure under control. It was only when Carol entered her with two fingers, breaking through the hymen that she let go of her bitten pals and cried out. It wasn't pleasure or intimacy. The tears were not of love and happiness. She was in pain. 

And she then knew she would be in pain for a long time. 

Carol removed her hand from the girl, cleaned the blood from her fingers with her white and expensive scarf that was placed on the nightstand and left to smoke. 

She brought her fingertips to her nose and smelled the metallic scent of Therese's blood. She thought of that guy that took her virginity in that dark alley behind the buildings and felt a stinging pain in the heart. She was just like him, selfish and alone. She brought the cigarette back to her lips and inhaled. She crashed the cigarette butt with her naked foot, feeling the ashes burn her skin. She hugged her bare form, protecting it from the cold air. 

She looked down to see that her lipstick was all over the cigarette filter and that she had blood strains between her fingernails.

She got in, went to the bathroom and washed. 

She thought of her maman, and of Rindy, and or the first time in years, she was really and utterly unhappy.

She was sick with fever and a nasty cold the following morning.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo? How was it?


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